Hook's Weekend Troubles
by KittyDoom
Summary: Yeah, so this is the result of me on a suger high at 11pm. It's really random, and is just what I imagine would make Hook's day a bit more interesting... Rated for drunk teenagers and hyperness galore!


**Right. I am hyper just now, very very hyper, and this idea is hammering away in my head.**

**So, I'm writing it down :)**

**This is the result of eating 5 cream-eggs in a row whilst watching the Peter Pan movie too many times.**

**It is me, Miss Banana and Joe under different names generally causing havoc on Hooks ship. This is my first attempt at a crack-fic, Miss Banana is the real crack-fic master!**

**Everyone is OOC, and I don't know if you get ice cream or alcohol in Neverland, but in this fic you do.**

**Rated for language, hyperness and all round underage drunkenness!**

**So… enjoy?**

**Miss Poptart xx**

Hook was bored. Another day with nothing to do. Pan was off having fun, he had thrown half the pirates overboard because they kept singing an annoying song called "Dream" from Shark boy and Lava girl, and the rest were drunk.

Slowly walking down the stairs to his cabin, (the stairs were quite slippy), he was about to open the door, but he heard voices coming from behind the door.

"No, Josh! Put that back! That's not yours!" a girls voice said.

"Huh. Says the girl who has half the jewellery box in her pocket!" another voice responded.

"Gah! Both of you shut up! I hear someone!" a third voice said.

Hook put his ear to the door and listened with curiosity.

"Well nah, Kristy, it's a PIRATE ship. The name sort of specifies that there are PIRATES on board! And pirates are PEOPLE! So of course your gonna hear SOMEONE!" the first person said, their voice dripping with sarcasm.

Hook opened the door slightly, and peeked inside. There were 3 teenagers inside, two girls and a boy.

"What the…" Hook muttered, and watched what was going on.

"Look, will you two shut up? Or at least have your catfight at a lower volume?" the boy, (Josh, Hook guessed), told the girls.

"Josh! It's not a catfight! A catfight is a sissy bitchy slap-and-hair-pull fight! This is quite simply an argument!" one of the girls, the blond one, said.

"No, Milly, we are having a creative discussion!" the brunette, (Hook guessed that this was Kristy, as the blond was Milly), said.

"Argument!"

"Creative discussion!"

"Argument!"

"Creative discussion!"

While the girls had their argument/creative discussion, Josh was busy helping himself to Hooks secret supply of Whisky. This was too much for Hook. That Whisky was meant to stay SECRET, hence the name SECRET SUPPLY!

"OI! You lot!" Hook stormed into his room. Josh dropped the bottle, emitted a high-pitched girly scream, and dived under the bed, swearing. The girls stopped their argument/creative discussion, and stared at Hook, then at the bed.

"Your feet are sticking out." Milly said.

"Thank you." Came a muffled reply from under the bed.

"What are you doing in here?" Hook asked.

"What does it look like?" Milly asked. "We're stealing your jewellery!"

Kristy elbowed Milly in the ribs, and she squealed, before smacking Kristy.

"HOW MANY TIMES?" Milly asked. "NOT THE RIBS!"

"Well you shouldn't have told him about the jewellery. At least you didn't tell him about the alcohol…"

"What about the alcohol?" Hook asked.

"Your alcohol SUCKS! All you have is Whisky! And Whisky smells bad and tastes bad and-" but Milly clamped a hand over Kristy's mouth.

"Do you have any BLU WKD?" Milly asked innocently.

"Umm, I think I have some in the kitchen…" Hook began but never got to finish.

"Ok. Thanks!" Milly called cheerfully. She grabbed Kristy's arm, dragged Josh out from under the bed, and skipped off to the kitchens Wizard-of-Oz style.

-xXx-

Hook stormed into the kitchen and found the three teenagers, surrounded by empty bottles of BLU WKD.

"What the hell happened?" Hook asked, stepping over the many bottles. Josh lay unconscious on the floor after tripping over a spilt bit of alcohol, and Milly was giggling uncontrollably. Kristy was looking through the cupboards.

"Hey, you got any more alcohol here? I think Josh finished it all." Kristy asked. Josh had gotten to his feet and was now flirting with a wall. Milly was still giggling hysterically.

"OUT!" Hook yelled, and the three teenagers trooped out of the kitchen, and ran up to the top deck. Well, more like staggered up to the top deck.

"PARTAY!" the still-giggling Milly yelled. All the pirates turned and stared at her.

"What the hell…" one pirate muttered. Hook came up behind Milly and grabbed her from behind, putting his hook to her neck.

Milly screamed, and Josh hit Hook over the head with an empty BLU WKD bottle.

Then, Kristy hit Josh over the head with a BLU WKD bottle.

"Ooh, look. The pirate with no hand is dead!" Milly giggled, and ran, well, ok, tripped back down the stairs to Hook's cabin, and came back up with a tub of Vanilla ice-cream.

"Hmph. Could the guy be any less imaginative?" Kristy sulked. "Vanilla is SO 10 minutes ago!"

Josh came back to consciousness once again, and started muttering about hangovers.

"Ice-cream will help!" Kristy said, and started throwing spoonfuls of ice-cream around the ship.

After a while, they locked the pirates out of their bedrooms, and slept of their hangovers. By the time Hook had become conscious again, it was nighttime, and the mad teenagers were wandering about the ship again.

"Hey. Mister, the one lying on the ground." Josh shouted at Hook. "Why are there no lights on this ship?"

"Um… I don't know." Hook confessed.

"Well, that's terrible. Someone could fall over the edge in the dark!" Josh replied, and a splash was heard.

"Like that!" Kristy shouted from a room inside the ship. She came out wearing a huge red hat with an even bigger purple feather in it.

"Hmph. Don't think much of your headwear." Milly said, coming out in a similar styled hat.

"HEY! That was a present from my mother!" Hook snapped, snatching the hat from Kristy.

"Huh. Well I don't like her style." Milly said, taking the hat off of her head and tossing it into the water. Hook screeched, and threw a mini temper-tantrum.

-xXx-

The next day, the teenagers left, much to Hooks delight. However, all of his alcohol was gone, half of his pirates had fallen overboard in the dark, all of his jewellery was gone, his ice-cream was missing, and two of his hats were ruined.

This was one weekend Hook was never going to forget.

**Yeah, I know, it's pretty random and retarded. This is the result of a sugar high at 11pm.**

**R&R plz?**

**Miss Poptart xx**


End file.
